Friday, October 8, 2010
Driving to work listening to the Steve Harvey morning show I find myself getting irritated. Steve Harvey wrote the book "Act like a lady, think like a man" (which I love). He talked about a new book he has coming out titled "Giving it to you straight, no chaser; How to get and keep a man". I am irritated with the fact that every self-help book is geared toward the female population. What does that say about society and how they view black women, especially when it comes to relationships? Why are some many expectations placed on the woman in relationships? They involve two people, whether it fails or succeeds is determined by BOTH people involved. Why does the general population feel it is their duty to inform black women how to get a man and keep. The problem with black women is not that they do not know how to get and keep a man; it is that they feel like it is their job to get and keep a man. Women you should not be the chaser, you should be chased! Maya Angelou says it best, "A woman hearts should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her". Ladies, if you are going to chase a man let it be "the" man (God).
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I think it is amazing how men always try and blame Black women for the downfall of our relationships, as if they have no part in it. I feel that some Black men feel that women should act a certain way to keep a man, but they don't want to act like a man worth keeping. When Black men start treating Black women with the same respect and care they want, then it will be returned to them. A relationship with mutual love, trust and respect can be successful no matter the couples ethnicity, which is what we as a community should be working towards.
ReplyDeleteWell said, I will discuss expectations next.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way myself. But let's also look at it from a different point of view. What if its all about reaching a certain target market. Could it be that the author doesn't necessarily blame women but know that women are the primary readers of his books? Let's be honest. Women will read relationship book after relationship book and then we get all confused and next thing we know, we aren't being ourselves but are acting according to what the author told us to act like. Not many men are picking up relationship books. I think that's why authors write them for women. Even if there were more for men, can you really see a man going to the bookstore to find a book his homeboy said was an excellent read about how to keep your woman happy. Women will buy these books, trade them with friends, center their bookclubs around them, and take the advice in the book. I think that the authors are just smart that's all. They know that women (our crazy selves) are the gender that will make them rich. I used to read all those relationship books but now I will read only a select few because I was tired of seeing everything wrong with me instead of what was right with me. I'm not saying some are not needed but they are overkill really. Women need to start having faith in ourselves and God stop buying 30 relationship books a year that will just confuse us more.
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